Your farts correspondant from the South

[BigFatHeidedFekker]

It came to my attention recently whilst attempting a wolf whistle that simultaneous whistling and passing wind is not compatible. How can I resolve these issues?

[aquaplane]

I believe Tena do some suitable products.

[ParaHandy]

How does a wolf whistle outta yer airse? I'm not saying its impossible but that's going some ...

[Nick]

How does a wolf whistle outta yer airse? I'm not saying its impossible but that's going some ...

I don't think he actually has a wolf inserted, but if he does then he is definitely up for some sort of world felching award.

[ParaHandy]

I don't think he actually has a wolf inserted, but if he does then he is definitely up for some sort of world visiting the zoo award.

Hmm .. life must be a *lot* more exciting in Balvicar than one ever could imagine

[ParaHandy]

Well me auld tart, one post recomends incontinence pads and t'other invites masturbation. Moved by either, are we?

[FullCircle]

I am making an assumption that you have insufficient 'force de vent' to conclude a successful double ender. Therefore, I can only recommend that you purchase a bum bung, available from all good sex shops to enable the full Roger Whitaker experience.
Be sure not to get the E45 cream mixed up with the Sikaflex 291 on application, or the outcome could be catastrophic. You could end up full of excrement. Ahem.