Today's joke

jim.r · Post by **jim.r** » Fri Mar 07, 2008 12:40 pm

Two women walking past a dress shop. One says "That's the one I'd get".
......................and a cyclops ran out and punched her.

sahona · Post by **sahona** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 8:30 pm

Chakalo forgot to file off the foresight, "nice 'n smooth" and, yes you're right, the cyclops penny took a long time to drop , must be Jim's accent.

lady_stormrider · Post by **lady_stormrider** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:11 pm

A length of tatty rope, all twisted and bent into a shape with the ends all pulled apart walks into a bar. The barman asks,

Ã¢â‚¬Å“Are you the same piece of rope that walked into my bar last week?Ã¢â‚¬Â

Telo · Post by **Telo** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 9:27 pm

[quote="Bejasus"]Ã¢â‚¬Å“Sorry, no canned dooÃ¢â‚¬Â

ljs · Post by **ljs** » Wed Mar 12, 2008 10:59 pm

Where did the Grand Old Duke of York keep his armies...?

Up his sleevies.

ash · Post by **ash** » Thu Mar 13, 2008 12:55 pm

BigNick wrote:
There was marzipan and sponge cake all over the place.

At least the engine wasn't damaged - else everything would be sticky with Golden Syrup.

Ash

BTW - I've read the first post umpteen times, and never got the joke - today it suddenly clicked.

sahona · Post by **sahona** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 10:38 am

A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the very prim librarian, "Excuse me Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?"
She stops doing her tasks, looks up at him over the top of her glasses and says .........................................................

"F*** off! Ye'll no bring it back."

tcm · Post by **tcm** » Sun Mar 16, 2008 1:39 pm

Paddy goes for a job at the building site and the foreman is checking that he's not too thick for the job. "So, dya know the difference between a girder and a joist then, Paddy?" asks the foreman. " O aye" says paddy, "Goethe wrote Faust, whereas Joyce wrote Ulysses"

tcm · Post by **tcm** » Tue Mar 18, 2008 10:58 am

Two rastas are listening to the radio playing old songs, and one of them says "Ah man, that's Nat King Cole!" and the other one says "okay, so who is it then?"