Erection Job

[claymore]

Got it up last night - Dear Heart thinks it has grown since last year

[Telo]

Christmas comes but once a year, it would seem.

[FullCircle]

Got mine up tonight. I was amazed when it lit up as soon as I mounted the fairy!

[ParaHandy]

Janet, ma wee minx, wud ye jist lie doon whilst I gie youse yin? An youse, Archie, jist stop yer scribblings and get oot?
Doctor, thon's ma' airse?
Jings, Janet, I cannae see whit ahm daeing. Yer bloomers are in the way. But, whits this? A tattoo? Whur did ye get this?
Oooh .. Edinburgh ..
Janet, ye daft gowk. Ah know that's where it is. But ...
Nooo, that's where it wus done.
Crivvens, the Argyll & Sutherland pipe band are marching doon the crack in yer airse.
Aye, Doctor, ahm playing the nicht! Jist under the pipe major's sporran is whur ye want tae be.
Jings, every sporran shud be orra beever's pelt.

[claymore]

Para - ye've bin awfy quiet of late - ah'm glad tae see yer back tae yer auld seil - hoos th'arrival?

[jim.r]

Janet: Och, I thocht it wiz yoo!
Para: It isnae!

Pause

Claysie : Para, my man, go and put ra kettle oan.

[ParaHandy]

Para - ye've bin awfy quiet of late - ah'm glad tae see yer back tae yer auld seil - hoos th'arrival?

The wee blob (Elliot .. a bit clotted cream, Devon-ish .. orra name) is daeing fine. His brother, William, gies him a kiss in the morning .. ah dinnae know how long that'll keep going.
Everything's fine and dandy. Mother's in rude good health and granny's chomping at the bit tae get back doon their this christmas.

[Booby Trapper]

Mine's not been up since January but I did have a quick look at it one day when I was up the loft, it looked smaller in the dark light that what I remembered it. The last time SWMBO saw it she said it was getting a bit tired looking and she quite fancied a new thicker one. I said I thought it was alright and once it had a good shake and straightened out it would look a lot more appealing. She said she didn't think there was much life left in it and didn't want her friends laughing at such a poor specimen.
I said it has served me well and hope to get a few more years out of it.

Fingers crossed I might get it up this weekend.


Is this beginning to sound like one of Terry's Janet and John stories?

[sahona]

Dragged mine out rather reluctantly last night.
For some obscure reason there's a penguin where the fairy should be.
Is this illegal?

[claymore]

Global warming?