Women.
Posted: Fri Jul 18, 2008 5:49 pm
What do we know? They're a pain in the arse. They take ages to get ready to go out, and spend money like water. They watch Big Brother and the soaps and expect affection in public. They're physically weak and can't endure even the mildest of hardship without whining. They make noise with their hair driers and their hoovers. They find interesting and novel ways to break cars.
For some time I've been wistfully looking at the corner of the patio and considering how long it would be before anyone dug under the slabs if, one night, I hid a girlfriend sized package there wrapped in bin liners and gaffer tape. *
However I've just realized they can sometimes be tolerable.
SWMBO wanders home tonight and mentions they they've been having a book giveaway at the Library and she's found something I may like... I pretend to listen. (They like that.)
Then, (drum roll) she produces a two book Volume:
"A Journey to the Western Isles of Scotland" by one S. Johnson and "The Journal of a Tour of the Hebrides" by one J Boswell.
hardback in one volume. As new. Never been read. Never been lent out. Free.
What a little goddess she is. As reward next week I will be holding the door open for her when she's struggling out with the bins.
Do I read it all now in a frenzy of self indulgence or wait for the long winter evenings?
* If crushing my girlfriends skull with a shovel and burying her in the garden makes me a so called 'criminal' in the eyes of 'society' then so be it...
For some time I've been wistfully looking at the corner of the patio and considering how long it would be before anyone dug under the slabs if, one night, I hid a girlfriend sized package there wrapped in bin liners and gaffer tape. *
However I've just realized they can sometimes be tolerable.
SWMBO wanders home tonight and mentions they they've been having a book giveaway at the Library and she's found something I may like... I pretend to listen. (They like that.)
Then, (drum roll) she produces a two book Volume:
"A Journey to the Western Isles of Scotland" by one S. Johnson and "The Journal of a Tour of the Hebrides" by one J Boswell.
hardback in one volume. As new. Never been read. Never been lent out. Free.
What a little goddess she is. As reward next week I will be holding the door open for her when she's struggling out with the bins.
Do I read it all now in a frenzy of self indulgence or wait for the long winter evenings?
* If crushing my girlfriends skull with a shovel and burying her in the garden makes me a so called 'criminal' in the eyes of 'society' then so be it...