BLUEMOMENT

If, as a refugee from Another Place, I wish to post on here, can anyone recommend a site which I can use to change English to Caledonian / Native Blue Moment Patois, please? (assuming that I speak English, of course.)

"Jings, yon moderator lassie wuz a wee bit crankie" was the best that Macbabelfish could come up with.

aye, whitswrangwiyonainyhow?

My Dear Chap
The finest Queen's English is spoken on this forum at all times - all one has to do is register as a forum user and the cunning webcraft deciphering tool is automatically triggered
To straying scufflebummers and especially daft feckin quasi moderators - the language thing is just a tool to dissuade them from lingering.
Felicitations, welcome and may your airse always point south.

Actually I've overstepped the mark here - it is the role of those higher and mightier than I to extend welcomes - I apologise to them and naturally withdraw my felicitations

Och , they're daeing a grand job of pouring ile oan troubled watters .. NOT;-)

sarabande wrote:"Jings, yon moderator lassie wuz a wee bit crankie"

As you have obviously realised, using jings, crivvens or help ma boab in every sentence along with a little creative spelling is all that is required to give that authentic pidgin Scots feel. When the occasion warrants, they can all be used together.

Jings, crivvens, help ma boab! Whit a stooshie!

It's nae problemo,


Jist buy yersel' a presentation copy o' ra 'Compendium Edition O' Ra Broons' an' yer sortit', but........

Wee Bachle

Try this:

http://www.whoohoo.co.uk/scottish-translator.asp

or browse the Scottish Vernacular Dictionary

As another visitor from Another Place, is there a setting in my preferences to turn off macbabel text? I feel like I have stumbled into the public bar of the Creagorry Hotel again, where I spent many an evening receiving the icy blast of Island hospitality. And McEwans.

.
So what was it took you to Benbecula, and was your entire Hebridean experience so bleak?

Some of our regulars have been there and discovered a tropical paradise . . .

Hello, Is there room for another Englishman? I've a fair grasp of the language that appears on this forum because I learned it the painful way..16years old and joining my first ship as deckboy I reported aboard to the Mate..a Glasgow man..He'd had a row with the shore-gang boss about bad stowage in the 'tween decks...he was not happy to see me.

The only words I understood from him were..Bosun..aft. Off I went ducking slings of cargo and tripping over ring bolts. I found the deck crowd at 'Smoko' on number 4 hatch abaft the galley, and spoke to an older man in faded dungarees and a homemade white cap. He gazed at me and said something...He was foreign!! Then he spoke to one of the AB's...He was foreign too!! Bosun and 6 AB's all from Castlebay, Barra. 2 Ordinary Seamen from Orkney and the Lamptrimmer from the shores of Loch Carron I recall. The Chippy who was a Latvian.....explained what the Bosun had said to me, and that the language was English..just slightly different to what a 16 year old from the seaward side of the Sussex Downs was used to, that's all..

We sailed 2 says later for Newfoundland and Nova Scotia where we loaded rolls of newprint for the 'Sydney Times'. We were at Panama before I could understand what was being said to me and the occasional whack round the head for 'not doing as you were told' ceased...

A long winded first post, but I enjoy reading the comments and expressions that take me back nearly half a Century.

Nick wrote:.
So what was it took you to Benbecula, and was your entire Hebridean experience so bleak?

Some of our regulars have been there and discovered a tropical paradise . . .

Nah it wasn't so bleak when the weather was nice - one of the most glorious places in the world IMO.

But picture several expat (Scots and English) teachers huddled round a rickety table in a draughty inadequately heated room, with red vinyl benches along the wall, flinching from the regular fighting breaking out amongst the drunken locals at the bar, then struggling out into the gale and dreich for a 25 mile drive back to the swaying and rattling caravan in a field, which the sheep scratch against all night. And you couldn't even get away for the weekend to the big city of Portree, because the Wee Free stranglehold meant no Sunday sailings....

Sounds like quite a few places in the Highlands and Islands come to think of it... But that was in the early 80's so I'm sure it's much nicer now

damo wrote: rickety table in a draughty inadequately heated room, with red vinyl benches along the wall, flinching from the regular fighting breaking out amongst the drunken locals at the bar, then struggling out into the gale and dreich for a 25 mile drive back to the swaying and rattling caravan in a field, which the sheep scratch against all night.

Ah yes now that sounds chust fine. So you'll have enjoyed yourself and be able to tell your good friends and neighbours what a wonderful time you had.

Happy days, man, happy days...

Shard wrote:Ah yes now that sounds chust fine. So you'll have enjoyed yourself and be able to tell your good friends and neighbours what a wonderful time you had.

Happy days, man, happy days...

I did have the hills to myself though for the couple of years I was there. I did several new climbs on S.Uist, one of which is one of the finest VS's I've done in Britain. Trouble is it's probably only dry for 3 days a year

And I did play in an international football match, when the team bounced across the Sound in the post boat to play a team in Harris. The pitch couldn't be used on a spring tide, and the whole game was played in one penalty area because of the 35kn wind blowing down the machair. We lost 3-1

Chakalo:

A long winded first post

Not at all - a very atmospheric and entertaining first post - welcome aboard Chakalo.

It looks like you are a strong contender for this year's Avatar Art prize as well . . .

Thanks Nick, credit for choice of avatar goes to number one Grandaughter.