BLUEMOMENT

I'm suffering terrible withdrawal symptoms from sailing. Normally I and the boat would be working up to a series of events in May. This year the boat is still in its shed, polished and anti-fouled but with a cover waiting for the relaxation that has to come sometime. So I thought I would try and simulate nda sensations emotions of sailing and how better than to stand under a cold shower and tear up £50 notes? But, blow me, I can't even do that successfully. These new plastic notes will not tear or am I losing my strength?
Any others of the pensioners on here noticed how healthy their bank balance is this month? It's only been 5 weeks and at this rate there may be serious questions asked by my dearly beloved. Pity it's my age demographic with the sword of Damocles dangling.

It’s not just pensioners, I can’t rip a new fiver in two either. I am still being paid, still working but from home and have noticed that the rate of cash depletion is very, very low. That’s no bad thing surely? When I get back on the water normal rates of depletion will resume no doubt. What I have noticed is car running expenses are quite high, also spend on scottish excrement I don’t need has been high, lazy spending on meals and fast food also makes a big dent.

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Money was stretching out nicely, but then I bought a stackpack and lazyjacks . . .

You may not go for this - and to a degree, I'd understand it - but rather than beating yourself up in the shower, what about I give you my address and you could just post the offending notes for me to look after? I could then make some of paper and post them back to you and I think your whole showering experience, not to mention your sense of self worth will be restored to previously enjoyed levels...?