Coll moorings nonsense from Neil Smith

[Burt Toast]

Oh, and whilst I'm at it, I may as well clear the following up. Neil Smith is not around for half the time and asked another local to collect mooring fees on his behalf, and this other individual would keep half the money collected. As it turns out (and Neil still really doesn't understand the full extent of what may have been going on) this individual was sometimes charging £25, not the agreed £15, and pocketing the extra £10 themselves. This individual is no longer involved, so the issue hasn't arisen again for a couple of years.

[Aja]

...........you'll excuse me for not giving two hoots about your lack of facilities or whether you come to Coll or not.

Well Mr Ambassador of Coll. Stick yer island up yer arse. It doesn't sound worth visiting anymore.

Best Regards
Donald

[Nick]

.
Mr. Toast,

I live in Argyll and Bute as well, and empathise 100% with your comments about the utter ineptitude of A&B Council. I can also understand that Neil Smith may have been ripped off by people collecting mooring fees on his behalf.

What I don't quite understand is why he is not overjoyed that CMAL are taking over this onerous and apparently unprofitable chore. I would have thought that with his concern for the continuation of the moorings he would have been delighted, but instead he has apparently sunk them, leaving CMAL with a mess on the seabed to clear up.

[claymore]

As a mere mortal and not particularly good at much, including making breakfast, I find that I often burn toast. Its to do with trying to multi-task, I think. Dear Heart prefers tea in the morning whilst I do really prefer coffee so, on most sundays I make breakfast and produce a simple fare of Grapefruit, followed by boiled eggs and naturally soldiers. I smile most Sundays as I say to myself - "Claymore, whats the difference between the French and Toast?" then giggle aloud as I respond to myself "Ye can make soldiers ootae toast"

This distraction inevitably leads to my downfall as the blue smoke and aroma eminating from the grill indicate that the toast has been ready for some time.

The toast is duly scraped and served but I do suffer from mild indigestion for a while as the carbons get to my inner organs.

Does toast get burnt a lot on Coll?

[Nick]

Does toast get burnt a lot on Coll?

His name's Burt, not Burnt ya eejit . . .

[claymore]

I realise that oh wise one - but I burn toast. The oly time I ever burt toast was wed I once had a cold.....
(that will probably also evade capture by what can sometimes be your somewhat limited intellect)

[Nick]

.
Do you think Burt Toast will pop up again if we butter him up? I wonder if he was bread on Coll.

[SteveN]

You may jest but I can assure you that that's his real name.
He lives next door to a mate of mine, Fred Eggs.

[Alan_D]

He lives next door to a mate of mine, Fred Eggs.

He must be from Dundee.

[ash]

.
Do you think Burt Toast will pop up again if we butter him up? I wonder if he was bread on Coll.

Well, I think that I know what he looks like.

Search on Google images for Melba_and_Burt_Toast

I've assumed that Melba is the girl on the left.

Copyright belongs to Kenney Mencher.

Ash

[Arghiro]

Nah, that can't be right, one of 'em must be an imposter. The scots guy is real crabbit, the black bloke looks happy.

[Fingal]

I think Mairi Hedderwick has moved on from her outstanding childrens' book series but this would be perfect. How Katie Morag and Grannie Island save the yachts dragging broken moorings across the bay, and Neilly Beg succesfully negotiates the laying of new moorings .

[claymore]

Hmmm

Wid that no be Taasty Beg an Neilly Mhor?

[Burt Toast]

Admiral of the Green must have been a wee bit pished when s(he) wrote his/her rambling dose of pox earlier in the thread. Please, the open university does short courses in English language, try to find the pennies to enrol on one for the sake of other forum users?

Well, after that abortion of a post what hilarity ensued! O how I laughed! One of you lingering old farts even went as far as googling 'burt toast' in some sort of half-arsed effort to be creative and funny. Alas, the capability passed you all by, your collective turn of phrase sadly lacking. However, 'Admiral of the Blue' (or should I say 'Admiral of the Brown'), your deeply questionable reference to ''buttering me up" had me reaching for my copy of the film 'Last Tango in Paris'. I couldn't resist blowing your tiny profile picture up to full screen size before hoisting my main sail and tugging on my oily sheet. Now I shall lie back, smoke a Capstan full strength and imagine romantic balmy evenings bobbing in your cockpit. Such special times you have given me.

Neil Smith, like many people on the west coast, has nothing but contempt for Calmac's arrogance and this situation is no different. I've read the relevant Act of Parliament and it clearly states that Calmac has responsibility for only part of the loch, where his moorings are NOT sited. Out of principle, he is defending his corner against their tyrannical craving for power. If you love Calmac, and their plans to treat all of the west coast's harbours like this (even Tobermory, where they have tried to take over what is a six figure business), then you are are short sited fools who will blindly set a course for complete monopoly of the west coast by CMAL. Good luck to you all. If they are successful, lets see where it all ends up. Muppets.

[Nick]

. . . you are are short sited fools who will blindly set a course for complete monopoly of the west coast by CMAL. Good luck to you all. If they are successful, lets see where it all ends up. Muppets.

I would prefer to see communities look after and benefit from the local moorings rather than CMAL, but I don't like irresponsible exploitation with a side order of contempt, particularly when the end result is loss, damage and grief. CMAL are going to charge a more reasonable price, will inspect the moorings properly and will carry the necessary insurance. That's how I like my moorings. If that makes me a muppet so be it. They have also said they will leave room to anchor.

You may believe that sinking a load of crappy old moorings on the seabed and fouling the ground is reasonable behaviour but I doubt if you will find much support among yachtsmen - a breed for whom you apparently have nothing but scorn anyway.