Fixing a hole in a boat

[Nick]

[claymore]

Impossible, I'd be needing such a large hole in order to be able to fit the recommended plug, the boat wid sink too quickly before I'd applied the appendage

[Aja]

Pisser (as they say) if you're female.

[claymore]

Sit on it - sharp intakes of breath - spit it oot...?

[wully]

Impossible, I'd be needing such a large hole in order to be able to fit the recommended plug, the boat wid sink too quickly before I'd applied the appendage

That’s twice this week you’ve been oan aboot yer ‘toggle and two’ in tinternet. I fear this lockdown is having an undesirable effect on yer already overburdened mental state.

Away and huv a cauld shower afore we’re reading aboot ye in the papers.

[Burst Boiler]

Surely only works in fresh water

[Burst Boiler]

Yes. I think if you find a hole, best to head for the Crinan so you can deploy this handy, effective technique.

[claymore]

What if you are in Stornoway?

[Aja]

Head quickly to Crinan?

Donald

[Burst Boiler]

I've realised a potential snag. In some parts of the world, there's a tiny fish that has a habit of swimming up what can only be described as "yer jap's eye" and causes all sorts of internal mayhem. Don't know if they have it in Stornoway, but if so, it could be pooo-er, very pooo-er.

[Aja]

I've realised a potential snag. In some parts of the world, there's a tiny fish that has a habit of swimming up what can only be described as "yer jap's eye" and causes all sorts of internal mayhem. Don't know if they have it in Stornoway, but if so, it could be pooo-er, very pooo-er.

Believe it's a freshwater fish, so Stornoway should be safe enough.

Donald

[Alan_D]

I've realised a potential snag. In some parts of the world, there's a tiny fish that has a habit of swimming up what can only be described as "yer jap's eye" and causes all sorts of internal mayhem. Don't know if they have it in Stornoway, but if so, it could be pooo-er, very pooo-er.

I suspect you are thinking of the Amazonian Candiru, but its fabled behaviour is probably mythical.